My Reasons for Homeschooling

Why did you decide to homeschool? I’m so glad you asked!

I love talking about homeschooling and I readily jump onto my soapbox whenever I get the chance! I think homeschooling is a marvelous education option, but I always tell people to pray and seek God’s will for their child. He knows them best and what they need to succeed, not just academically, but emotionally spiritually, mentally, and physically. Regardless of the education choice, I believe a key ingredient for success is parental involvement. Whatever God leads you to do, do that!

God’s Calling

As my oldest approached standard school age and I prayed for direction about what educational option would be best for her, I was impressed to consider the reason that undergirded the decision to be home full-time with her in the first place:

Deuteronomy 6:6-7:

These words that I command you today are to be on your hearts.

You shall teach them diligently to your children. And shall talk of

them when you sit in your house, when you walk along the road,

when you lie down and when you get up.

This scripture reminded me again that caring diligently for my child and any future children required my engagement with them throughout the day. I was further reminded that God considered me uniquely equipped to teach my children, ministering to them in a holistic way. I believe that God could have placed my children in the family of another, but He chose me to be their mother. He also could have placed us at different points in earth’s timeline but He saw before time began that we needed to be together to accomplish His special will on the earth. He saw that membership in this family would prepare its children to respond to their individual callings and I was excited to do my part to facilitate His great work.

Spiritual Development

I wanted to be sure that the spiritual lives of my children were going to be nurtured. Again, I believe that God wanted my husband and me, especially, to encourage them along their journeys. Homeschooling provided the opportunity to manage distractions and negative influences that could threaten their paths, as well as an environment conducive to spiritual growth.

Adherence to True Education

Child development and education expert, Ellen White, highlighted that the goal of true Christian education was to restore the image of God in man. I believed that when we nurture our children to bring out their best and give space to the manifestation of their purpose, we are indeed partnering with God to restore His image in us. Homeschooling would prove to best provide this opportunity for our family to work towards that goal.

Significance of the Early Years

Studies show that who we are as adults is often determined by the time we are eight or nine years old and I wanted to protect those precious incubation years. Ellen White also spoke in compelling detail about the tremendous opportunity to set a great foundation for life by carefully ministering to the whole person in childhood.

Facilitate Assignment Discovery

Partnering with God to help my children discover their raison d’etre was of paramount importance. Of course, we’re all created to glorify God, but we each have unique assignments on this earth for accomplishing that mission. I wanted to be there to actively encourage and direct those discoveries and provide the appropriate resources to nurture them. Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born…and the day you find out why.” I wanted my children to experience the exhilaration of knowing why they were born, why they needed to study, why they needed to hone skills, etc. I wanted them to be motivated to work for a reason bigger than themselves.

Freedom to be Children

Science shows that young children need to move and move often. There is value in learning the discipline of sitting still, but to require large swaths of sitting time seemed untenable to me. Play is incredibly beneficial to learning in general and I wanted to be sure that my children’s school day was going to encourage their optimal development and growth.

History of the U.S. Education System

Via well-documented resources, I learned more about some of the original goals of the U.S. Education System. It appeared to me that the system was designed to support parents’ work schedules, not the best care and development of children. I wanted an educational system that maximized benefits to the student. I recognized, too, that whoever a child spends most of their time with is the person whose values they are likely to assume. I did not want my child to spend the majority of their hours under the influence of another person who may not share my values. As wonderful as parochial schools may be, I also understood that sharing the same faith does not necessarily mean sharing the same values.

Instill a Love of Learning

Because the homeschooling parent is wearing two hats at once, a rich environment is created wherein learning is happening all day in a way that can be fun, engaging, and relatable. When it’s fun and fulfilling to learn, there’s no limit to what a child can achieve. In addition, I wanted to nurture a healthy love of learning to combat the temptation to equate academic achievement with personal value. I wanted my children firmly rooted in the understanding that we have value because God created us and not because of academic achievements, or otherwise.

Nurture Critical Thinking Skills, Creativity, Self-Initiative, and an Ability to Learn Independently

The nature of homeschooling, as it nurtures a love of learning, lends itself beautifully to creating an environment where these skills are developed. The student has more freedom to focus on her own growth and maturity without unnecessary comparisons and competition with peers. There is also more time for deeper study, discussion, and exploration which takes the focus off of memorizing for exam grades and directs the focus instead on learning to understand and facilitate more learning.

Exposure

Some folks wait until children are “old enough” to eat out at a restaurant, take an international trip, or listen to books being read that are above their grade level, and the like. I respect that and I believe parents know their children best, but I think it’s worth considering that when children are stretched, or pulled out of their comfort zone of familiar surroundings to explore different experiences and cultures or just different parts of town, their brains expand, connecting more neurons. They gain a graceful maturity and greater emotional intelligence that comes naturally from participating more fully in the world around them.

Freedom to Explore and Nurture Interests

This has proven to be one of the best things about homeschooling! It provides flexibility in the day to allow your student to spend more time on or consider a particular activity that has generated extra interest. There was a span of months in which my oldest daughter, Yasmin, was writing “chapter” books in her “Bria series,” as a second grader. I was so happy to let her spend extra time on her writing and today she is an excellent writer.

Nurture Appreciation of Cultural Identity

Having attended predominantly white schools from elementary through high school, and then making the conscious decision to attend Howard University, I had a keen awareness of the power of the traditional educational system to positively and negatively and positively impact one’s identity. I wanted to be sure my children would have a strong sense of self as it was informed by their culture. I wanted them to have the freedom to embrace all known aspects of their ethnicity, including Native American and Trinidadian, and not have to be restrained by socially convenient boxes.

Special Nurture of My Brown Child and her Ability to Learn

As a second grader, I remember feeling like my math teacher, who was white, did not like me and that it was simply because I was brown. It could be the only reason, I thought. I was a well-mannered, attentive, excellent student. I was the only brown student in the class and no one else seemed to receive her cold, dismissive behavior. Her microaggressions affected my ability to love math and I carried that poor math confidence into adulthood. I did not want to risk that for my children. I wanted my children to view every subject with the same conclusion that this is information I can learn and like. I wanted my children to be taught by someone who 100% believed in their ability to learn and excel and would not serve to squash a love for learning or cause damage to their self-esteem in any way, especially during their formative years.

Protection from Psychological Injury

Piggy-backing on the previous reason, I wanted my child to be free from the shackles placed on young children when they encounter racist or biased adults, especially when they don’t have the awareness and tools to process those interactions. Sometimes worse than outright aggression is microaggression which can make a young child feel confused and unable to understand and verbalize the conflict. Once when my oldest was three or four and participating in a ballet class as the only brown girl, I noticed that no matter how early she arrived to class, the first warm up activity that had the girls flittering across the room to the mirrored wall according to their arrival position inevitably cast her last. I then noticed that the assurance that rehearsals would not take place during class were not being upheld which meant that performance participants were being paired off and only my child was being left out. When she told me during a break that she wasn’t, “having fun,” I knew my normally happy and engaged child was feeling the effects of being slighted and subtly mistreated. No child should be made to feel like they are being tolerated. We did not return to that class. This was an unfortunate situation, but I’m thankful I was there to recognize what was happening and respond.

Ability to Manage My Childs Education in a Way that Portrays Minority People Groups Correctly

I remember in grade school feeling so uncomfortable each year when the teacher taught about slavery. My face would burn with embarrassment. I wanted my seat to swallow me so I could disappear. There is a way to discuss these types of topics while preserving the dignity of all students. Part of the solution is to provide an accurate, well-rounded survey of history that doesn’t omit significant contributions of a people group or paint lightly the egregious acts of a different people group. Homeschooling, I anticipated, would allow me to educate my children without an unbalanced, whitewashed perspective, and it did.

Encourage an Entrepreneurial Spirit

I’ve told my girls since they were little that getting their education was important and working for an organization had its place, but that it was also important to develop their gifts, talents, and skills so they could be in a position to be self-sufficient in case those supports were removed. Often in our educational institutions the student is taught in a way that prepares them to work for a corporation and there is little to no instruction encouraging financial independence through entrepreneurship. I wanted my children to have the broader perspective of how to make their contributions in the world as well as have real opportunities to test it out. When my middle daughter, Safiyya, was nine, she established her own hair accessories business. It was a great exercise for her to produce and be affirmed and compensated for her creativity and ingenuity as she interacted with her customers.

Protect My Investment

I didn’t want anyone undoing or slowing down the good that had been accomplished to that point of school entrance eligibility. There were a number of areas that benefitted from my investment of time, attention, instruction, and creativity before school age, but one area was particularly significant. Teaching my girls to read by the time they were four opened up a whole new world for them and for me. Being read to regularly from infancy and learning to read early helped to foster a love for reading. This love gave them freedom to participate in acquiring knowledge independently and nurtured a curiosity in the world around them. It was a foundation I wanted to build upon, not have to repair.

Superior Nurturing

Besides God, no one loves and cares for my children more or better than me and therefore I am in the best position to effectively educate them. Further, because I spend so much time with my children, I know them better than anyone else and know how best to maximize their strengths and manage their weaknesses.

Socialization

I read so many books and did so much research about socialization, since it’s such a hot topic in homeschooling. One book in particular that I read was written by an educator and she spent time discussing negative socialization and how children need to be protected from the damaging effects of it. She said that negative socialization often occurs when there is little to no adult supervision and that this is often the case on the playground and in the lunchroom. Children need to be supervised and I wanted to be sure my child wasn’t going to have to experience neglect in this area. Instead I set out to create and nurture rich socialization experiences with other children and safe adults – a significant benefit of Mama Mzazi and a reason for the establishment of its the homeschool group arm.

Help Process Life

As I imparted values to my children, I wanted to be there to help them process life as those values were challenged. I wanted to be the one to discuss the, “What did you think about that?” questions. Because I chose not to spare the rod on negative influences, I was very intentional about what my children were and were not exposed to in my home. When outside of my home, I did not always have control over certain exposures, but I was glad for the opportunity to discuss them as they were introduced. When children are left to process incongruencies and sometimes outright assaults on their psyche by themselves, there is a risk that distorted messages get internalized. Of course we know wrong thoughts often produce wrong behavior.

Tailored Learning

The accommodation of learning styles and abilities was also very attractive to me. I liked that my visual learner could excel just as well as my auditory learner in the homeschool setting. I also liked that I could allow my children the opportunity to work at their own pace and at the same time benefit from a multi-age classroom for some subjects.

Family Bonding

I believe that a huge part of a child’s success lies in having a strong identity and this identity is largely drawn from their family. I wanted to encourage the best family bonding experience as possible. Spending quantity and quality time together, engaging in a wide variety of experiences and activities was important. This was super significant for our family, because while my ex-husband’s medical specialty was generally family friendly, I thought homeschooling would be a good way to ensure time together each day.

Use My Education and Experiences to Teach My Children

Understanding that I was uniquely equipped to teach my children with the resources entrusted to me, I felt it was a worthy calling to use what I’d gained from my own educational journey to teach my children and enrich their lives to the best of my ability. Some individuals bemoan a woman who has acquired an education, but doesn’t use it as expected or doesn’t appear to use it at all. I chose to view my educational achievements as an advantage that would benefit my children. What better investment can there be?

Safety/Protection

The unfortunate reality is that we share a world with individuals with evil intent and I believe it is our job to protect our children. During a conversation with a mom once, she said she would only leave her child in the care of someone else at the point that her child could talk and tell her something was wrong. I want my children to tell me when something is wrong, but there are some things I never want them to have to tell me. Children are resilient, but there are tragic experiences that require more than just telling a parent about it – if they are even able. They would need therapy and significant professional intervention.

I Liked Being With My Child

I have enjoyed being with all of my children since that great decision so many years ago. They are interesting, fascinating humans and I like experiencing their stages of life with them. Seeing them mature as they enjoy life’s victories and navigate life’s challenges is inspiring.

A Responsibility to Steward

I do believe God called me to homeschool my children. I had a strong sense that I was given this opportunity to protect, nurture, and steward special anointings on my children's lives. I wanted to steward their gifts and talents, nurture an early sensitivity to God's voice, and protect against generational curses. It was a great privilege to use my gifts, talents, and education to support giving my children the best foundation in life, as I truly believe for to whom much is given, much is required.

When God Calls, He Equips

I trusted that God would give me what I needed when I needed it along the way. This was particularly helpful to remember when our family expanded and there were more children to teach.

Well, these are my reasons for deciding to homeschool my daughter and continue with my two daughters who followed. Which ones are yours? Do you have any that are different? I’d love to hear about them and how your family has been blessed by your homeschooling experience.